‘Hubie Halloween’ would’ve been horrid at any time, and especially now
Netflix
Adam Sandler and his frequent writing collaborator Tim Herlihy (“Grown Ups 2,” “The Ridiculous Six”) recently sat around laughing at the idea of Hubie (Sandler) dressing up as a ghost by wearing a sheet with pee stains on it. They decided that most of the jokes in the film would be at the expense of this 50-something man, who presents with developmental disability. And then they decided it would be OK as long as they pulled the usual bait and switch of Sandler movies like “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” in which the mean characters who dimwitted audiences are supposed to laugh with are then chastised for their cruelty, as if the entire enterprise exists to call out bad behavior instead of perpetuate it.
This steaming hypocrisy was despicable a long time ago, and during a period in which empathy is gasping for air, Sandler’s shtick deserves public scorn at best. “Hubie Halloween” is a movie that claims tolerance while also seeking laughs about struggling people in a psychiatric facility, which of course the film refers to as a mental hospital. It first claims that Hubie needs to learn to stand up for himself only to reverse that entirely and claim that true bravery is being kind to those being cruel to you, which maybe isn’t a great plan in the face of fascism. If I sound sick of this sort of thing passing as comedy, as some sort of escape, it’s because I am. And it’s not because I can’t laugh and have fun at something dumb. It’s because Sandler’s work thrives on being phony, lazy, sexist and condescending, and the idea that this has been true for so long and yet here we are again -- despite the actor showcasing talent and an interest in quality material (“Uncut Gems,” “The Meyerowitz Stories,” “Punch-Drunk Love”) maybe a couple times a decade -- is just not something that should be tolerated anymore.
The plot, drunkenly glued from scraps of “Riverdale,” “The Waterboy,” “Cape Fear” and 15 horror standards, involves a killer terrorizing Salem, Massachusetts on Halloween night as a new resident who might be a werewolf (Steve Buscemi) and an escapee (a Sandler staple whose identity is saved for a late reveal as if anyone should celebrate this guy’s appearance) from the aforementioned psychiatric facility also roam free. Meanwhile Hubie, who has served as the town’s unofficial Halloween protector for decades despite also being the community’s favorite punching bag, attempts to keep people safe while Sandler does the dopey, sometimes incomprehensible Sandler voice that is not so much as comic choice as a nearly involuntary affectation that hasn’t been funny for so, so, so, so, so long.
In fact, as Hubie gawks at Violet Valentine (Julie Bowen of “Happy Gilmore” and “Modern Family” and “Ed,” which isn’t streaming anywhere!) he’s the same drooling adult baby as Billy, to the extent that I thought Hubie was going to say, “So hot. Want to touch the hiney.” As always with Sandler’s bottom-feeding stuff, Violet has minimal agency of her own and adores Hubie for absurd reasons. (When he describes a man who was hanged as “The unfortunate dangling Dave,” she gushes, “God, I love the way you phrase things”). The character is often referred to as nice, but for one thing that often comes off as patronizing toward a person who may be on the spectrum, and it also isn’t even always true. “I love the wicked witch costume,” Hubie tells a grieving widow after a funeral. Even if that isn’t said maliciously, Hubie is clearly unaware of social cues, which makes it especially absurd that he loves Halloween so much when in fact he is very easily scared and becomes upset every time he freaks out, and not in a fun way.
“Oh, come on,” you think. “The movie’s not supposed to be criticized; I just put it on mindlessly to wind down the day.” I get it. Of course I get it. But if your defense of a joke is simply “It’s just a joke,” you are refusing to acknowledge what is funny about it, or, more accurately, what isn’t. I mean:
Three different female broadcasters (an anchor, a meteorologist and a reporter) all dressing up as Harley Quinn, with the reporter explaining, “Only one day a year you get to show your ex what he’s missing!” Sandler’s comedies are the pits of dividing women into immature sex objects and unworthy, unappealing shrews.
Hubie’s mom (June Squibb) thinks that boner means mistake, leading Hubie to accidentally use the words interchangeably and cause people to laugh at him for talking about his big boners.
His mom also enjoys wearing secondhand t-shirts bought on the cheap with sayings such as “Boner donor” (see above), “I shaved my balls for this?” and “If you can read this, you’re in fart range.” For like half a second, it is mildly amusing seeing Squibb (“Nebraska”) in apparel like this.
On that note: So, so many jokes about pee and farts, including an employee of the psychiatric facility (Ben Stiller!) asking what he thinks is a patient (it’s actually Jell-O formed in the shape of a body to mask an escape), “Did you go pee-pee while you sleepy?”)
Violet complains that her ex (Kevin James) is confident for no reason, which is something you can say for many of Sandler’s characters in his worst movies. The rampant hypocrisy is just infuriating.
A janitor (Colin Quinn) grumbling, “You can say a lot of things about me, but I was never a nerd.” This obsession with status and looking down on people is typical of Sandler movies and also “Saved by the Bell,” which I write about a lot in “Zack Morris Lied 329 Times!” and also WAS BASED ON AN APPROACH TO COMEDY THAT IS NOW 30 YEARS OLD.
Countless jokes at Hubie’s expense (calling him “Pubie,” a “goofy idiot,” a “mumbling zombie” and more) that pretend to serve an anti-bullying message when the film clearly has a very low opinion of its characters and is actually serving as a self-fulfilling prophecy of a mean world, not fostering any understanding of the insecurities that lead people to mistreat others.
There are subplots involving Violet’s foster children. They are not worth describing but generally more benign than everything above, so that’s kinda OK, I guess.
Yes, I have ranted about Sandler before. Yes, I will likely rant about him again. No, I don’t hate all of his comedies. “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan,” “Big Daddy” and “The Wedding Singer” still hold some appeal for me. But the simple fact is that we are at a point where a lot of people are embracing cruelty. Meanness disguised as comedy, or passed off as innocent because of a lazy dismissal that it’s not serious, is cinematic gaslighting. And I’ve had it.
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