'Anyone But You' should be Bard from date nights
HANDOUT
Swap Ryan Gosling and Jennifer Lawrence into the Australian-set “Anyone but You” and maybe the hit romantic comedy feels lively and sharp, light on its feet yet wise about a variety of well-intentioned manipulations and miscommunications.
Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney, on the other hand, so fail to make Sydney Swoony — don’t blame me, the movie walked right into that — that the latest from director Will Gluck (the underrated “Friends with Benefits,” the fine but overrated “Easy A,” and two “Peter Rabbit” movies!) only resembles romance in a world that sees “The Bachelor” fantasy dates as peak connection.
The story springs from Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing,” which has been adapted and adapted and certainly didn’t work in the last high-profile effort in 2012, directed by Joss Whedon. In a painful scene that sadly serves as a clue for what’s to come, Ben (Powell) and Bea (Sweeney) initially hit it off in a coffee shop when she really has to pee and he pretends to be her husband so she can use the place’s bathroom. But Bea sneaking out in the morning after the two fall asleep talking leaves a bad taste for Ben, as does her overhearing an unkind comment from him in yet another forced moment that occurs before the 15-minute mark. A few months later, though, these two are heading to Sydney, Australia because Bea’s sister (Hadley Robinson) happens to be marrying the sister (Alexandra Shipp) of Ben’s best friend (GaTa). Even though this is a destination wedding involving like nine people for just a few days, many of them (including Dermot Mulroney as Bea’s dad) scheme to turn the pair’s bickering into at least some behind-closed-doors fun, leading to exaggerated sequences of people accidentally being set on fire or taking off clothes in a spider-in-the-pants panic.
If you think that was tiresome to read, multiply it by five to capture the experience of watching.
You’d think the gorgeous setting and magazine-cover cast at least would be enough to carry “Anyone But You” toward something passable, but instead it feels like “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” if you neither wanted to be in the stunning location nor spend time with the people. (The one-dimensional supporting characters run out of steam stunningly early, and the Shakespeare-indebted Greek chorus stuff is embarrassing and weird.) Sharing a writing credit with Ilana Wolpert, Gluck and his cast botch the delivery of most of the jokes, simultaneously giving the film a sense of being rushed while also yanking out its energy, like trying to dribble a ball that was never inflated.
Powell’s charm exploded out of “Everybody Wants Some!!” and Sweeney was terrific in “Reality,” but together they’re stifled by lousy dialogue (which does no one here any favors) and their characters simply not knowing enough about each other to form a credible bond. “Ticket to Paradise” should’ve served as a reminder that continuous arguing doesn’t automatically translate to chemistry; Powell has the chops for the sparkiness that “Anyone But You” is after, but Sweeney, entirely out of her element, can’t make Bea’s uncertainty believable or establish the character’s supposed appeal. The performance makes Bea dull and unimpressive where she should be compelling and conflicted. For much of the movie the central pair is sure they shouldn’t be together, and it’s easy to agree.
They might be #bodygoals, but anyone thinking this is #couplegoals won’t be a couple for long.
D+
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