By-the-numbers 'Last Seen Alive' still does nothing right
Netflix
It probably seems really easy to make a Liam Neeson thriller: Give your main character a non-ass-kicking job, kidnap one of the guy’s loved ones, send him on a search and discover he can, in fact, kick ass. Defeat the baddies, find the wife/daughter/dog/hamster, sit back and let people praise your solid genre effort.
Except knowing a formula and executing it are not the same, and the comically lousy “Last Seen Alive” misses on every element that makes people enjoy something like “Taken” or, even better, the 1997 Kurt Russell thriller “Breakdown.”
It was already a bad day for hotheaded real estate developer Will (Gerard Butler), who’s on his way to drop off his wife Lisa (Jaimie Alexander, who’s 14 years younger than Butler) at her parents’ so they can take a break and she can think after having just confessed an affair to her husband. Then a quick stop for gas turns into a breathless search, as Lisa seems to vanish while Will really wasn’t paying attention and a cop (Russell Hornsby) makes several ridiculous assumptions without once reacting appropriately on an emotional or intellectual level. All motives are as simplistic as humanly possible, borderline robotic. When you create a script via AI, I suppose, you can’t complain when it sounds moronic.
Which is to say that the thinly plotted “Last Seen Alive” is kind of a good time for the wrong reasons. So many people ask if Will checked the bathroom for Lisa as to be hilarious, and the flashbacks to moments between the couple never come remotely close to establishing depth or a credible relationship. Every small-town bad guy is beyond generic, including Ethan Embry as pretty much the same sleazeball he played in the far, far, far superior “Cheap Thrills.” (Perhaps don’t trust a guy who prefers to be called “Knuckles” and looks like he gets beat up every six seconds?) There aren’t any memorable action sequences, and Will is tough and brutal far too quickly to root for. Everyman, this is not.
Taken seriously, “Last Seen Alive” appears to be a cuckold’s vigilante fantasy, with Will overcoming emasculation by saving the wife who strayed and still wants to leave. Taken as a joke, the movie would have been vastly improved simply by knowing its own crappiness and having Will shout, “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”
D-
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