Yep, same 'Old' Shyamalan nonsense
Universal
Fortunately, M. Night Shyamalan had the sense not to call this “You’re getting old, beach.” For the most part, though, that’s where his good judgment stopped in terms of storytelling for his latest, in which a seemingly but maybe not-so-random group of travelers discovers that an isolated beach causes them to age a year every 30 minutes (in other words, the sensation of watching “Lady in the Water,” “After Earth” and “The Last Airbender.”). The writer-director actually has had a bit of a resurgence in recent years between “The Visit” and “Split” (I still haven’t seen “Glass”), but every new project from the “Sixth Sense” filmmaker threatens to dwarf its visual achievements with dialogue and ideas that feel like an extraterrestrial creature impersonating a human.
That leads us to the quite beautiful and very stupid “Old,” which shares several elements with “Nine Perfect Strangers” and is likewise stiff and challenging to get through. Shyamalan’s film—ugh—strands itself rather soon after the concept kicks in and we just wait around until the next person dies. Will it be Guy (Gael Garcia Bernal) or Prsica (Vicky Krieps), a married couple keeping secrets about their relationship and health from their young children (who soon become teenagers played by Alex Wolff and Thomasin McKenzie)? A hotheaded doctor (Rufus Sewell) or his much-younger wife (Abbey Lee)? A woman who suffers from epilepsy (Nikki Amuka-Bird) or a low-key rapper (Aaron Pierre) named Mid-Sized Sedan? That name is one of a few times when “Old” is, thankfully, funny on purpose, with Shyamalan occasionally knowing when to wink at absurdity … and most of the time advancing a robotic, ridiculous nightmare that struggles to balance its explanations with its themes.
In quieter moments, though, it’s hard to deny the filmmaker (who also appears in the film, sigh) is onto something: As ubiquitous as messages about living in the moment may be, there’s still plenty of power that can come from a movie finding new, sci-fi-enhanced ways to let certain worries sweep away with the tide and capture people experiencing something final with newfound clarity. On this gorgeous stretch of sand, intimate moments between family members and strangers can be quite sad and cathartic, particularly for anyone who’s ever felt like their children are growing up more quickly with each day.
But everyone knows a Shyamalan film is only as good as its “Twilight Zone” escalation and its ending, and neither aspect of “Old” works. You can’t have your mind blown or your heart swell when you’re groaning at the clunkiness of the script or the feeling that we’ve landed in Elizabeth Holmes’ version of “The Village.” In fact, considering the directions each goes, I’d rather have seen “Nine Perfect Strangers” as a movie and “Old” as a series. But don’t tell a certain director I said that.
C
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